Memories
by Mikiche
Summary: He was almost snow-like in the sense that he's so fragile looking and small, you think to yourself. You grab his hand to warm it and find him clutching your hand tightly back as a response. You're surprised and caught off guard - even more so by how icy his fingers felt like. /YatoYuki. Contains small spoilers, but spoilers nonetheless about both Yukine and Yato's past. Oneshot./


**A/N: I had no idea where I was going with this. Note that Yukine's past is based entirely on the frames you see in episode 2 when he first appears and the rest is interpreted by me. So definitely, as a last warning, there will be spoilers in here. **

**I'll just add notes about Yukine's past that I think happened here, so just scroll down to read the story. I had to add it at the start, just so you will have an image of what I see.**

**Basically, Yukine had a sister and mother along with a father. I imagine that they had a happy relationship until the family was torn apart by arguments and the mother-daughter pair left Yukine with the father. The father was possibly hurt emotionally by this, and took it out on Yukine on a daily basis. Things were usually okay to take, but when he came home drunk it was worse. His father stopped working altogether and began to fall in debt after borrowing money from people.  
Soon, he realized that he cannot take care of Yukine, and ended his life with a burst of outrage and abuse. He died altogether after that violent incident.**

**The reason why I feel that Yato connects to Yukine is because of Yato's past before this entire arc - aka. the making of a god arc. Where he has a father and all that, who left them for some unknown reasons. That's why Yato knows what the lack of a father figure and love can really destroy someone inside, and thus tries to provide all those for Yukine who has been through pretty tough shit. **

**That's all I have to say, I'm sorry for rambling somewhat here, but I really wanted to share this bit with everyone else. So enjoy the story. It's really short.**

* * *

He didn't see the tears.

He didn't know about it.

How you so shamelessly cried for the soul you asked to be sworn to yourself, to fight for yourself.

His memories.

Locked, and kept away from everyone but his master.

Even he didn't know.

It was so cruel.

It was so sad.

Something about his memories connected and swirled with yours, and you felt something in him that you've never felt before.

That was why you kept him with you. Not just because he was strong - yes, he was, but...

There was something else.

You perk up, when you hear Hiyori approaching you with a smile. She sits down beside you with a plate of fruit. Watermelon, to be more precise. You snap out of your thoughts and grab a slice of the red fruit.

"Ah," She sighs loudly before turning to you with curious, pink eyes. You tilt your head and ask her what's wrong, and fail as you choke on the food you were eating.

She laughs slighlty as you recover, and hum a song you've never heard before, and asks, "Yato, remember..."

You look up, recovering from a sore throat and a breathless trance. "What?" You ask, squinting at the plate of watermelon slices as if they would slice your throat up.

"I forgot to ask you a long time ago, but when you and Yukine-kun were together... Why did you cry?"

You blink.

Then think, _God, she's on to me. _

And you lie down on the tatami mat, not really answering her question.

"Well?" She prompts again, looking at you straight in the eyes.

God, you hate it when she does that. It makes it hard to think.

"_Well,_" You begin dramatically, "Some things are better left unsaid." Then you end there.

She folds her arms across her chest, unsatisfied.

"Yato!" She says with a stern tone.

"Hai, _hai, _I'll tell you..." You give up, easily giving in to a fifteen year old girl's request. But you make sure to lower down your volume and scrunch your face into something more serious. "Please do not tell Yukine about this."

She looks as if she wants to retort, saying things like _"Why not?" _but surprisingly, she nods slowly, and scoots closer towards you to listen.

"Well," You begin again, "Gods are connected to their Shinkis. That much you know, right?"

She nods again.

"Not only are we connected emotionally and mentally," You circle an area of your jersey where your heart is with your finger, "We also gain access to a Shinki's past. A past that, while they forget due to death, a God gets to relieve."

"To be frank, it isn't really _forget_, but it's more of how it's locked up somewhere in their heart. It takes a long time to unlock it, even more so if intentionally. Some keep what they know inside. Others get devastated by their past lives, sting their masters and get kicked out. It's a thing, see - it's important they don't know about their pasts, because they may get emotionally attached to human feelings again."

Hiyori frowns at what you say. "But they _were _humans, why can't they feel again?" She asks.

You answer her, "It's not that they can't feel, per se. But they start to get attached to their past, or what's left of it, and they begin to connect to people who used to be there for them; families, friends, what not. And you know that. You know that we aren't supposed to communicate with them, don't you, Hiyori?"

Her eyes cast downwards, remembering the incidents that caused Yukine's subsequent ablution. "So... you're saying Yukine-kun led a... really hard life, huh?"

You cautiously pick a slice of watermelon with your hands and chew slower, nodding. "Yeah. That's pretty much it. And his life... was kinda tough, and that's no doubt the things that shaped him into such a good Shinki."

"So tough you cried? Huh..." Hiyori mutters, her breath slow and steady. "I see. Well, if it's about Yukine-kun's past, I guess I shouldn't pry... It's his life, isn't it?" She smiles and slowly picks herself off the floor. "... Thank you for telling me all that, Yato."

You gulp down the last bit of watermelon before sitting up with a smile, "Nah, it isn't a thing."

It was a great big thing.

You knew that.

Debts, abuse, family torn apart... You saw all of those.

Sometimes you look at Yukine and wonder how he got through all that. Other times, like now, when he's taking a nap under a fluffy blanket, you see how vulnerable he is.

Like a baby animal. Or a bubble that can burst if you so much as put pressure on it.

At these times, and at night, you excuse the stabs of pain you feel in your heart and you try to understand him better, like what Hiyori said.

You scoot closer towards him and lay down beside him, observing the rise and fall of his chest, how frail and small his body looks curled up, how afternoon sunlight bounces off everything off his and making it look like he's glowing in the summer light.

You feel his hand and it's cold. It's ice cold and you're smack in the summer heat. You wrap your calloused fingers around his hand to warm it, and in the process you are almost stunned.

His fingers wrapped around your hands tighter.

You glance at his face, unsure if he's really asleep or not.

But he's still there, breathing, sleeping, looking so much in peace it's a wonder this is the same boy who swears you out every single day for every action that you make.

You smile.

Slowly, you lay next to him and close your eyes, hands linked together, with each other.

This is fine.

You will understand him, and provide him the love he never had. Along with Hiyori, of course. And the others...

This is alright.

He isn't going to feel sadness ever again.

Or suffer.

Or feel neglected.

Ignorance, you decide, is bliss.

You also decide that it should always stay this way.

You'll protect this frail, snow like boy.


End file.
